i have sweet memories of last summer, mashed up with bitter, castor oil memories also.

i had just got fired from kinko's, and i was pretty happy about it for some reason. me and my ex boo would lay around all day and watch seasons of one tree hill, and bbq, i still had my ps3 then, and i was still trying to beat metal gear, he worked at subway so he brought home meats and cheeses and we would make panninis on the george foreman grill. it was hot in fresno, and we would go swimming, and i'd swim laps cause i was going to try out for the swim team that following spring.

and he moved in with me because his apartment was being renovated. and then, a few days after my birthday, he broke up with me. and my world seriously collapsed. and i was a wreck, and it was foolish of me, really to act the way that i did. i was like a zombie. not even my newly refound (and later lost) DS lite could make me happy. i was just uh. when i look back at that time and i remember how i acted, i am seriously ashamed. for one, i dont think he was anything to cry over, a self absorbed man (?), who didnt care, couldnt come to the terms that he should care, and had/has? emotional displacement issues, but alas, i loved him. i made the mistake of making him a big part of my world.

then my lovelies steph and leslie came to visit from sac. <3



but he still has a big chunk of my heart in his possession, even though im completely over him and he's totally over me (which i question since he asks everyone about my whereabouts)

hes scarred me badly, he said alot of things.
in fact when i asked him if we would ever get back together, he said, victoria, you're a PS3, and i really want another kind of console, i want a Wii...

it makes sense now.